First time write my feelings at here...

19 of February 2012.. 1148pm, i look through my file which had done reviewed by supervisor. OK, i have no any people which i can share out or release out my suffer feelings now as i dun wan bring any troublesome to them. So, the only way i think about is write out my post at blogger. Just now, i had forgotten my password for this blogger, so i have take a bit time to solve it. At last, gives me to have chance to write out my feelings at here.

Now, i was thinking that when i was a kid at primary school, i wish i can faster finished my study. When i was at secondary school, maybe i watch too many TV drama which makes my brain and mind keep thinking to have a partner be with me. I can said from Form 1 til Form 3, i had waste my precious time to think about it. When Form 5, i wish i can continue study either physics or accounts, and besides i was thinking what if i went out looking job such as waitress, hotel worker, cafe staff and etc.. But, at the end, i continue my study til Form 6 as my mother advice me further study and enter university. At last, i did it; enter university.

In university life, was heard from others before that uni life is so enjoying. But indeed, is totally different and is sucks! However, in uni life, one thing for me is at least can know those friend from different state and can also saw different kinds of people before enter into social life. In uni life, i keep wish that faster finish my study so that can faster enter social life and working.

After I graduate, takes 3 months to find job and finally get job. Thought i can have enjoyed working life in my first job. But, the fact is totally different from what i was expected to.
Of course, audit work can't said can enjoy working life in office. At least, what i want is the relationship between the colleagues, should be nice and friendly and if we as junior don't know anything, at least need have patience to teach or guide us. Not just give the review point and then pass back to us without brief any point for what we've done for our job.

Such working life makes me want to back to my uni life as in uni life is not same feelings at social life. Uni life, can enjoy sometime and when reach a certain time to have exam, only need to prepare for it, that's it! But in social life, you need to become a stronger and cleverer worker, else you will be the loser!

Really quite not satisfied with my first job here;
- those colleagues; i'm ok if they directly told me where and which part i did wrong and guide me the correct way. Of coz, they did so. But they will whisper each other about we as junior's work. I rather prefer they directly told me my weaknesses compare to keep whispering to each other.

- those higher level management; although i had done audit work in my interns life before, but doesn't mean that i will expert on doing it!! I can said that i learn the audit work in my interns life is just those transaction testing, bank, fixed assets and expenses, that's it!! When they ask me questions, i need take time to think about the questions. I admit that my brain and mind is quite slow, and before that i know that they did told me this company request quick learner in office. But, i did told them, although i'm slower thinking, but i wish that if i have the chance to work here, it can helps to improve me, upgrade me to become as quick learner also. No need give any not satisfied face to let me see.

- And i believe that, they sure did whisper about me to other staff. ( not i'm thinking too much), I can feel that right now how's their reaction when they saw me compare to first time their reaction they saw me.

- In this office, if one person have the talent to do audit work, of coz and sure the others will give u a smile and treat nice to you. However, if they heard you so "lao zi" in doing audit work, they will not do just like they treat those talent people. ( they easily look down those untalent, like me this kind of staff)

In conclusion, WORK LIFE IS SUCKS!!!

I now start to think back my uni life and those memories with my friends, attend class together, skip class together, exchange notes and tips and go out enjoying and etc.

After what i've get kinds of treat from them, it makes me to consider back whether am i suitable to continue my work in this office? or should i stay 1 or 2 years and then change to another job? if change, what job is suitable for me?

Question "What job is suitable for me" makes me suffer 25 years ady. Why others can have their own mind set to set their suitable job while i cant? This questions keeps repeating in my mind.
Actually i have a question for myself: WHAT DO YOU WANT? 你到底想要什么? If I can know it, for sure i can determine what i want for my job. Until now, i still searching for this answer.

==@@Normal Day@@==

Today, as usual, wake up, brush teeth, watch drama... But, got one thing special, i sick ady T_T. After that, watch drama, hang the clothes, wash plates until my mum back. Then watch drama again..
At night, the weather raining. Whao!! So good huh.. Then, when i chatting with my friends, one of them only tell me that result can check already. Overall got one i feel ok n not ok.. others satisfied.. heehee!! After that, i also dont know what should i do because i feel myself useless n lazy, 2 months didint go out find work and yet at home.
Quite shame of myself.. hopefully i can change my this attitude day by day.

haiz.. the most i've done regret thing in my life..

2day, my frens send me mssg, inform me that v can check for our result dy.. Haiz, my heart start get worried.. When i open, i saw my EEB2033,KAF2043,KAS2013 get better result, B+. satisfied feeling.. but my kam2013,kinda disappointed for my grade, thought can get at least A-. Overall, my result drop very very terrible.. the most terrible.. rethink wat i've done in sem2, very shame of myself, coz in sem2 i take more time to play and had fun rather than study..... This is the most i've done the regret thing in my life... I duno wat to say, jz accept the real and tel them the truth if they ask me wat result i get. I think that all my frens get better result than me.. I got this feeling since i prepare my exam in sem2, think around my frens, they will get higher pointer than me.
When open school, started my next sem,sem3.. serious to face my study and done any of my assignment and work!!! I wish and hope i can handle my subject and exam even others said my course is the most busy and difficult in uum. Hope so!!!

第二学期要到了....加油加油!!!!

昨天,看完戏后,就上网查看我的第一学期成绩,有点担心kaf1023成绩.一开后,才松了一口气,拿到B, 算很好了.因为我不奢望拿到很好的成绩.过后,就想到周围朋友一定拿到很好的成绩. 不想了,因为能够拿到酱的成绩,已经算不错了.现在的心情,只想准备去新加坡,因为我有一位亲戚.她,生病了. 而且我们也好久没去新加坡了.一直以来,很喜欢她的为人,嘻嘻哈哈,连她的脸不象她原本的年龄....蛮年轻的,少皱纹....
现在,只希望她能够好起来....
还有,第二学期快要到了,要收回那嘻嘻哈哈的心情,准备我的第二战了...
加油!!!!!加油!!!!!

奇怪的心情

其实应该昨天发布的.昨天特别早,就 跟弟弟去了护照部门做护照.我弟弟先,那个小姐不知跟他说了什么,他就匆匆忙忙的走去. 然后,就到我了.我觉得奇怪,做么他酱麻烦而我很快就办完了那手续.那个小姐叫我坐着等.我过后就问我弟在哪里.原来他的身份证坏了,要做回.当时好气又好笑.一边聊,一边等,好久.突然有位auntie问我和我弟是不是来注册的..我们觉得很好笑,又很荒谬!弟弟就说:"她是我姐姐"..那位auntie又问道:"哦,你姐姐来注册的..."我在旁边真的觉得很好笑,因为我旁边又没有人,怎样注册嘞..真奇怪的心情...哈哈...过后我的护照可以拿了,只是弟弟的还不能拿,只好回去了,因为我们还没吃早餐啊!!
下午,妈要我去MBMB那里还生意准证.到那里,我问人是不是这里还的,他就问回我了准证renew了没.我突然觉得很乱,妈又没跟我讲要renew.他就指着对面的部门,叫我过去那边才来这里还钱.我不知怎样,觉得很气.就只好去renew,然后才去还钱.整整用了不得1个小时半.我一出来,还很气.弟弟就叫我到jusco去找他.反正我也要买东西.看到寿司,就想买一盒来消除我的气..呵呵..
回到家,气没消..就马上开我买的寿司来吃.弟弟很想吃,但..那盒是我买来消我的气,而不是吃爽的.
他有点不高兴.过后,妈妈回来.她跟我弟弟就去外面买东西吃.妈妈又买一盒寿司给我,很开心.而且,我的气也消了,也叫了弟弟吃寿司.他好想又开心回了.过后就一起看电视.

怎么办?

今天, 我觉得自从我回到我的家, 好像很多事情发生酱. 聚会做不成, 取消了. 现在呢,做出了另两位朋友生气和失望的事. 我不知道我为什么会酱..这些,都不是我会做的..为何会发生在我身上? 首先, 我把朋友都放假名.第一,L 昨天问我为什么没约她去看戏..那时候, 我才想到我还没问她. 之前有问过她,只是不一样的日期而已. 她当时跟我说那天不能去, 有课. 过后, A 就传简讯告诉我改日期, 我说好. 然后, 就再问其他人. 我不知为什么我当时没问到她, 就酱 过了几天,她问我为什么没约她. 天啊!我很气自己,为什么没问她?然后, 我不停说对不起....后来她说没关系. 当晚传简讯跟我说,她已经没生我的气, 下次再约过.我那时觉得既然她已经不生我的气, 就没事了, 就没回她.怎知第二天, 从friendster,她的blog, 可以说写出了她的心情,很不高兴,生气的心情. 我当场傻掉...昨天不是说已经没生我的气了吗?那她为什么会写出酱的blog???我不知道该怎么办??怎么办!后来, 我跟我的另一个朋友, B, 诉苦..她也是看了L 的blog, 才跟我说. 然后,她说今晚会打给她,问问她..我那时心想, 这位B很像大姐, 会想出办法帮我, 我不知怎样感谢她.这,暂时找出办法.
第二, 我的另一个朋友,K 之前传给我一个小评论,跟我要我和另一个朋友的电话号码.我没传回给她, 当时想直接传简讯给她就可以了.但是, 一天又一天,就忘了她的事. 早上,才看见她传给我的信息, 题目写着"失望"....完了! 她一定对我很失望...我也不能说什么,只好一直打"对不起" 这三个字. 我不能要她原谅我, 因为没这种资格.. 随着打了我和另一个朋友的电话号码, 只希望她不会为了这个事情而跟我反脸.真的希望她不会那么小气....如果她还是那种记仇的话, 我只好怪自己不珍惜和她的友谊.
我觉得我这几天几夜好像有东西要做的,但是没做到, 而且伤了与朋友之间的友谊..还是两个朋友.
我现在只能祈祷着这两位朋友能够大事化小事, 小事化无事.
*注:祈祷着希望我的第一学期的成绩能够得到好成绩.

Hmm, wat a tired day!!!!!

2day mornin, i reach my hometown around 5am n more. Guess wat, i reach my home dy 6am.my youngest bro come n fetch me, wanna thanks for him. wake up earlier come to fetch me.After dat, i feel very very tired. cz 2 days b4, i watch drama til 3am! OMG! dats my 1st time i watch til 3am. Den, in bus me n my fren talk til 1130pm n i saw many people were dy sleep. After dat, we oso take a sleep. But, around 2am sthg, de bus stopped at a relaxing place, for those who wan go to toilet. i really cant open my eye, but i finally open my eye n my fren wan go to toilet. oh no! my bec was very painful! After dat, i go up de bus n we sleep again.

Den the bus reach mlc around 530am sthg..i was very happy but tired. After my bro come n fetch me bec to home, we talk for a second. Den my mom come down n ask me go to sleep for a while. around 9am, my mother wake me up, cz my dad eating breakfast. But, i told my mom giv me a few time to sleep, its really really tired.

At last, i wake up.Talk wif my dad for a few minutes cz he wan go to work dy. N i think 2nite oso can talk, so i save a few my energy 1st. But nw i stil feel really really tired. Haiz!!! really is my 1st time i havin dis xperience -very very very tired!!!!!